You don’t like these words. My thoughts. They’re vulgar, right? Beyond honesty. The only section of myself I use to exhibit true feelings I never even knew existed. Aside from my drawings though. They are difficult to interpret. I like them better that way though. A little bit twisted. Funny thing about words though, they can be manipulated. So do I mean what I say because no one can tell but myself. Whatever I place here you’ll take as the truth. Or are they lies. I guess you will never know. So for now I’ll just write. Analyze it. Over analyze it. Figure it out yet? I’m keeping it a secret. Don’t say it. It’s not yours to take any longer.

I just need to sit here and get this out. I’m like that television show where they take a soda bottle and they kept compressing more and more and more air into until the moment where it was about to explode and the screen goes black. No sound. And at that moment the world seems hollow. That split second where there is a simplistic nothing. A simple, extraordinary nothing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3OJTZVKZx8
Overwhelm me with vibrations in my eardrum of a gentle piano lullaby. Bring me the calm to the storm


sometimes people have something you need to say but can't because they can’t get the words right. Or they just won’t come out. Or they feel scared, stupid, frustrated, confused, a rush of emotions “so some of us will never be able to say what we're thinking or what we want other people to know we're thinking so we'll never get the chance to make things right again ever.”

Did you watch the sunset today? It was beautiful. It’s outside my window past the wire screen, and shades acting as a blockade. In the formation of jail bars. Perfectly vertical, 90 degrees of the horizon outside. And you look past that and see where the blue meets the sunset. It meets the tangerine colors and fresh yellows. It’s funny, you think that moment would appear to be a green but instead it’s a pure white. Like the virgin, pure white snow melting off of the grass that holds it up. Making it dirty and impure again. (Ha.) I can’t write this any longer


“Humpty dumpty sat on a wall; Humpty dumpty had a great fall. All the King's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again!” Humpty dumty, did someone kick you off of you’re high hoarse? Someone push you off of your pedestal. Well get back up again. Or was it took much of a tragedy. Sympathy; Tyranny: all in the same you abused all the power you were given, humpty. It’s time to take it back, Looks like you were broken Humpty dumpty. We tried to help you, the king and I. and now you’re spilling from the inside out. I wonder if the king and I fell, would you humpty come to try and put us back together? Or were you too fragile. Ha. Tyranny. No excuses. Get yourself some new shoes humpty, how ‘bout trying on mine. Where were you when I fell? Where were you, where were you?


”As your gentle caress helps me forget”
I lay in your sweet serenity, sweet tranquility. The false comfort of your ever protection. Tenderness surrounds every inch of me. Intertwined with your affection and warm skin. I take an elongated minute to look upward through your clouded eyes. And I counted the lines on your face near your foggy translucent corneas. I painted your walls black that day. A color you found difficult to paint over. It was all my intentions. On the stone bitter walls I wrote a poem. It was about a “tormented essence.” Knotted it together with the grey reflection of a rosebush. The flowers bled red on your fingers from when you touched it. Your sapphire veins were exploited at the wrists. The razor tainted that beautiful blue shade; scarlet. The sapphire faded, I have yet to face that color. I’ve learn to never look directly into those eyes ever again.

so don't get me wrong. try not to think too much about the things I write. Due to my metaphors it may be easily misinterpreted. But these words are not back and white. They all have a far deeper meaning. Try not to think as much as I do. It’s a hazard. You shouldn’t trust people, but try to trust me on this. --The more you think the more complicated it gets.-- I would never wish that on anyone.